Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
