HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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