How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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