thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
