i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
