Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
