I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just invented taco cereal.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
