I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize