my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize