so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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