But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize