Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
These tits shall not be calmed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
