Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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