She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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