at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
