Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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