I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
