i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize