Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
