we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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