after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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