You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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