did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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