this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
