That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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