you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
