mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
