I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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