just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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