im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
