eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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