So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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