What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize