Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
