i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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