im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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