Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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