She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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