honey bunches of taint.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
