I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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