My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
