It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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