but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
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I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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