You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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