I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize