You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize