I wish i was in the wii world.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
