I'm gonna have a badass scar
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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