just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
