My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
