I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
