BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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