He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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