i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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