we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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